Driving in my car the original version of the song “Jolene”, by Dolly Parton came on the radio. I remembered the song from my childhood and surprisingly, the words too. I sang along as best I could and kept the high notes strictly for Dolly. When the song was over I immediately downloaded it onto my phone, as I had forgotten what a goody but oldie that tune is. I played it once again, this time really focusing on the lyrics and the message. Dolly’s love comes across as genuine and sweet. Her words suggest nothing other than pure desperation and vulnerability for the man she adores. As I continued to listen, I completely changed my tune (pun intended). The song isn’t about about a woman in love it’s a song about a woman who doesn’t value herself enough.
“Jolene” is the tale of a woman begging another woman, the beautiful Jolene, not to steal her lover away. This of course is not an unfamiliar concept. It certainly makes for good music, but doesn’t go over quite as well in real life. Women have been fighting over men since the beginning of time; some battled so hard they actually made history. So I ask the question, is fighting for the love of a man worth it?
The short answer…HELL NO! But, I also think it depends on your own self worth. Let’s say Jolene decided to carry out the request and the woman got her man back. Would she really be happy? If the woman believes she doesn’t deserve better than him, perhaps she would be somewhat happy. If her belief is that she is worth more and deserves to receive the kind of love she gives, then that guy would be long gone.
The story of a love sick woman and the beautiful Jolene is just one expression of how self esteem can determine our level of happiness. Unfortunately we don’t always value ourselves the way we should. Just about every person has struggled with self esteem at some point in their lives. We often doubt our abilities, our physical appearance or our contribution to society. For most of us, recognizing our significance can be a constant effort. But it doesn’t have to be. Self esteem is like a muscle; the more you work it the bigger it grows. Here a few tips to help build your self- worth and find your inner Jolene!
13 Tips to help build your self worth
1. Say stop to your inner critic.
2. Take a 2 minute self-appreciation break.
3. Write down 3 things in the evening that you can appreciate about yourself.
4. Do the right thing.
5. Positive self-talk.
6. Don’t compare yourself to others.
8. Don’t strive for perfection.
9. Don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake.
10. Focus on the things you can change.
11. Do things that you enjoy.
12. Celebrate the small stuff.
13. Find affirmations that work for you and recite them daily.